It has been 20 days since Kyleigh went to be with Jesus. One week since we had her celebration. People ask how we are doing. My response is that we are functioning. I do not like to use the word “normal” because our life will never be normal again. A lot of people refer to having a “new normal.” I don’t even like that phrase. We are functioning … we get up in the morning, we eat, we take care of our boys, we go to bed at night. There is still an immense feeling of sadness in our house. I don’t know when that will go away. I’m in no rush, but I know the boys, especially Oliver, pick up on that and it affects their behavior. At some point, we will move on, but life will never be normal again.
Oliver asked if we could bake a cake for Kyleigh’s birthday. Absolutely! I don’t think he understands that it will be a whole year from now before we celebrate Kyleigh’s birthday, but it makes my heart happy that he thought of it and wants to celebrate her birth. Other people, like the government, do not acknowledge her birth, but that is a whole other post that I’m sure you will read about some day. Oliver and I talked about eating cake and releasing balloons again on Kyleigh’s first birthday. He was excited. It made me excited. Our baby girl has been gone for 20 days and her big brother is already planning her birthday party. That lifts some of the sadness. Mark April 5, 2013, on your calendar. We are going to have a big party!